it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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