At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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