Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
