Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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