Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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