Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
