went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
