but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
