whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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