why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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