It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Sober January is a disaster.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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