I wanna bring you to show and tell
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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