my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
