Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i out mim tonsoeep
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