And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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