If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
