I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
