He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
