hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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