I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
