wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
