Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
