She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
