the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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