Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
