you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
