gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I believe in your delicious
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
