My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize