Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
