Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize