I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
