So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
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I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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