yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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