I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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