The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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