david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize