I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
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