3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
cat food counts as protein by the way
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
