And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
