I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
