i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
