my vag is so smooth its legendary
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
