Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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