she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
