i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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