ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
