i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
