i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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