Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize