Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
