I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We're too hungover to prance.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
