I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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