She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
